I spent my days searching for something that I couldn't explain. I mean I wasn't looking for love, I felt I had that. Wasn't looking for sex, I could easily get that. But still what I was searching for wasn't known to me. All I knew was that for almost a year, I had a lack of sleep, appetite, feelings, love, and trust. I felt like I had lost my damn mind. He had told me no matter what that he would always be there for me, and I tried to test the limits. And for the most part he was right. But then what you wish wouldn't happen before your eyes, does. He moved on. I wasn't ready, I was crying in a corner and didn't know how I felt about it.