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Mental Health in Relationships 2

So I’m listening to What Happened to You? An audible book that was sent to me by a friend and I started questioning myself: when did I become a people pleaser? Not just people because I didn’t go out my way to please my family, but I think a correct term would be man pleaser. I never like arguing because I have seen how that could accelerate so I would just agree to what they wanted. And I realize that it happened my freshman year of college. I was messing around with a guy in a fraternity. One night he asked if I wanted to stay and have sex and I was like no I need to study and there was a knock on his door. Another woman. Wow. He asked her the same question and she agreed asking what about me, and he nicely said what about her I’ll let you know when she leaves. At this moment I’m thinking that it was just me and him and just now realizing it was me and anyone. I never left until it was time for class. I had put myself into a competition with a female that I shouldn’t have been competing with because I shouldn’t have to compete for attention. My mom had 3 kids and gave us all equal, specifically designed attention. And I’m sitting here 18 making a choice that changed my whole adult life. That moment broke me down and started my downward spiral of associating my self worth with the worth a man gave me. Now at 36 I can look at them and roll my eyes and say you don’t define me. I am who I am and I love me. ✌🏾

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